Empathy at it's finest

Hi. It's been forever. I had my third baby. That explains it, I have three children under the age of 5 so i've been doing more important things but my little Lucy is 9 months now and is sleeping really good so I am finally getting sleep and feel like I can find the time and energy to blog again. It has been an amazing and trying 9 months. The one thing I have learned is that the enabling power of the atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL my friends and he WANTS to help us in our DAILY tasks.
I just want to tell you a little story about how a 3 year old and a 5 year old taught me about empathy.... So on Valentines day my girls' grandma's both brought them balloons. We were going to the grocery store and my girls wanted to bring one of their balloons with them. why not? sure, but hold on to them really tight so they don't blow away outside. Duh, I should have held on to my 3 year olds for her because hers totally blew away. 3 year old melt down. I will run up and get your other one. NO! I want my Elsa one. so sad. Anywho, she cried all the way to the store. I'm so sorry your balloon blew away Gabs. Well, as soon as we got to the store and got out of the car I could see how worried Mila (5 year old) was for Gabby (3 year old). Then she said, "Gabs, I will let my balloon go too so we both don't have a balloon" And then she let it go. Immediately Gabby calmed down and I could see the relief and comfort wash over her. If big sister Mila can do without her balloon then it's ok if I don't have mine. We all stood and waved goodbye to mila's balloon, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I know, now that I am a mom, I cry so easy. That was a proud moment for me! Not that I take any credit. I think Mila came that way, she is something special. She is SO concerned for others and always wants to help (most of the time, she is a preschooler who wants her own way and doesn't want to share sometimes :) but every now and then I catch a glimpse of her greatness unfolding and that is the joy of being a mother! I'll do my best to help my girls along but they already have seeds of greatness within them I just want to help them blossom and play their song! Anyway i just thought that story deserved telling, it was 5 year old empathy at it's finest. I'm excited to start blogging again and am thinking about doing a healthy eating blog and sharing about my plant based journey.

Meg

Choosing to dwell in the light!

I choose to dwell in the light! 

We have a choice, we can either dwell in our problems and in all the turmoil around us or we can believe in and dwell in the light! Light is way more powerful then darkness and although the two both exist we get to personally choose where we will dwell! 

What actions bring light into your life!? A few for me are praying, reading scriptures, going to the temple, listening to uplifting music, taking care of my girls, journaling, creating something, being artsy/craftsy, reading a good book, showing someone love...

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful, Our circumstances do not determine our happiness, it's how much light we find and choose to hold on to! 

Yes, there is darkness and anger and cynicism but we can choose to not spread it, to instead hold on to light. 

God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things.1 It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn. -President Uchtdorf "The Hope of God's Light"

How do we forgive when it hurts so bad?

I have been hurt deeply in my life by people who I am suppose to trust the most. Because we are all human and imperfect we will likely all be hurt by people who are close to us. At times I have let the anger and bitterness almost consume me, thinking they have no idea the deep anguish they have caused me. I have felt that if I let go of it, it is like letting them off the hook. So I hold on and suffer. 

As i've wrestled with how to forgive I realized that the only way I can forgive is because of Christ. Because of him it will be ok. He was hurt the most. Infinitely more then we can even comprehend. Yet, "he went about doing good". He said "Love your enemies" If Christ can focus on LOVE, even though he was hurt so profoundly I can too. I can lay my burden at his feet and focus on love. 

If I focus on the wound it will only make it worse, kind of like when you pick at a scab and it only gets worse. What heals a wound is applying ointment and a bandage and leaving it alone. The ointment is forgiveness. And Christ wants me to forgive so that bitterness and anger doesn't destroy my heart. 

It still might hurt, but I can love anyway. I can love and forgive because of Christ. Christ hurt, he was acquainted with grief and sorrow and every kind of deep anguish we can imagine but he loved anyways. Not because of who other people were but because of who he is.

I've realized that when people hurt you they are usually spiritually sick themselves, and it has nothing to do with you. What they need is love.

Sometimes I try to carry burdens that are not mine to carry. So Christ says, put it down and don't pick it up again. Leave it alone, it's not yours. 

I'm still working on it, it's a process but I hope to be a really good forgiver some day. And I don't know what other people are going to be doing, but I am going to be loving.

Look up!

Heavenly Father loves who you are! He created you! He just wants you to be yourself. Yes, your best self but yourself! He loves your quirks, the things that make you come alive, your strengths and your struggles; those were part of his plan too, ya know. He loves you for fighting so hard and being so strong and for pressing on when the wind is blowing against you and holding onto the light when the darkness seems stronger. He knows your spirit and he sent you here saying, "I believe in you, it will get hard, but I know you and you can do it." Life gets a lot more enjoyable when we just except that we were meant to sail on stormy seas. "Smooth seas don't make skilled sailors" So instead of looking at the Storm, if we look to christ and have FAITH we can accept and meet and rise up to the challenges of life, knowing that God believes in us to overcome them, and that this is his plan and all things will work out! "Pray always, be believing and all things shall work together for thy good" It is better to look up instead of on the storms of life. 

Mommyhood and Healthier Brownies

I am NO expert on parenting...is there such thing? I don't think so. I think we are all just making it up as we go. I think there is SO much information out there about how to be a good mom and raise your kids "right" that it can get scary! I find myself thinking "Maybe I shouldn't do this, maybe I should do that, What is the right thing to do! What if I totally mess up my kids! Then I start thinking, what would this person think if I did this etc... It's NOT helpful! Am I the only one who does that?

I once went to a fireside and shared about how I had been struggling with fears and doubts about my ability to be a mother and how I felt totally inadequate. After the fireside I had about 10 women come up to me and tell me they felt the exact same way. And one Lady handed me a note that said, "I felt like you feel for 20 years, you are a GOOD mother"

We don't have to be perfect to be a good mom and we don't have to have it all figured out. We don't have to pretend we're perfect for our children, it may be helpful for them to see us struggle and persevere and stay strong and face our doubts and master our fears. If we talk about our feelings and fears with them then maybe they will feel like then can share their feelings with us. I think our struggles and imperfections are what make us human and we're all here experiencing this struggle through mortality together. We were put in families so that we can encourage and lift and support one another

Two things have helped me lately with my toddlers; One is focusing on helping them solve problems. When they throw a tantrum or cry, sometimes I get really annoyed, like what is so wrong and can you just stop, you're driving me nuts. But if I stop and think, what's the problem and how can we solve it and then we solve it together then everything is good again. They learn how to solve problems and don't get so frustrated. They play way better together and I don't fear tantrums! I welcome them as an opportunity to help solve a problem. I think it's working anyways.

I think it helps to just recognize that Parenthood is messy! It just is. It's perfect for no one and we just have to do our best! What matters is that we love and guide our children. There is no one perfect way to parent. You are unique and your child is unique, so follow your heart and don't forget to enjoy your children! Don't get so caught up in trying to make them great that you forget they are inherently great. I don't think we mold our children like clay, I think they are like seeds. We give them water and sunshine and love and they grow into who they aren't meant to be.

What makes Heavenly Father the best dad? A few things are that he sees you as you can become, he sees the best in you! he is always there for you to talk to. He teaches and loves and corrects but he never discourages. He believes in you. He is a good example. He would do anything for you- even watch one of his most beloved children die for you. I think the important thing is that we are there for our children and that we pray and ask for help and blessings! Our faithful prayers really can send heavens help to bless our children and fill in the gaps of our imperfections. Somehow Heavenly Father trusts all of us imperfect people with his children. He really sees who we can become! He is in charge and this is his plan, so we just have to trust. 

I think Family time and traditions are one of the best offenses in creating a family. Tonight we made my Healthier plant based brownies and had brownies and ice cream/nice cream. If you want the recipe here it is! Even my husband loves these ones! And i'm sure i'll be posting more later about plant-based eating and how it has helped me overcome food addiction and improve my mental well-being if you are at all interested :) Here's the recipe...

http://thevegan8.com/2016/04/29/fudgy-secret-low-fat-brownies/

Happy New Year!

I love the new year! I love making goals and improving myself- it makes me so happy. I have a big list of goals this year to work on, but you know what- they are totally doable! I wrote them down probably a hundred times before January 1st so I could kind of memorized them and have them in the front of my mind and then I asked myself, "How can I stay motivated to actually achieve these goals?" I can't tell you how many times I have made goals, with good intentions, and then life gets busy and I don't do them! But this year has been different (I know it's only January 5th, but I feel it in my soul, it's different! ;) One of my goals this year is to study the Gospel with a question everyday- whenever I can find the time and even if just for 10 minutes- to not miss a single day. So my first question for my first study was "How can I stay motivated to accomplish my goals" And my study led me to this answer: "See my goals as literally coming unto christ, as walking towards him." This changed my whole perspective and brought me so much purpose! I have been so motivated to do my goals because I so badly need Christ by my side. I know he wants me to be close to him to and is rejoicing in every step I take towards him. I already feel more peace and joy and purpose in my life. In one of Elder Scott's talks he says that there are 4 habits that if practiced are like actively accepting Christ's invitation to come unto him, they are: Prayer, scripture study, temple attendance and FHE. So I have a goal for each of those categories and I am excited about them! My prayer goal is to simply say my prayers first thing every morning before I do anything else. So many times, I put them off and then get busy with mommy stuff and can't find the time to pray and so I miss out on my morning prayers. But I realized that even if you don't feel like you need that prayer in the morning you never know what the day will bring and you will need that prayer sometime that day. As I have done that I have felt so much peace and strength. Some of my other goals are to blog ;), exercise 3 times a day- totally doable with being a mom, journal every night including What went well's , read a book a month, Memorize a quote/scripture every week, and never go over my budget! Those are just a few ;) They are totally doable, sometimes I think we need to believe in our selves more and what we are capable of. "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars" It's all about TRYING. I think one of the greatest secrets to life is that you are happy when you feel like you are doing your'e best. When you can't say within yourself that you are trying your best there is a nawing feeling that won't go away. It's because becoming something is the whole point of life. "Repentance is not a back up plan, it is THE plan" repentance is a gift and the most hopeful and happy word in the english language. It simply means to change, to learn, to progress and grow. Without Jesus Christ, we would not be able to do that. But with him anything is possible and when we choose to improve ourselves or pursue any goal we are choosing to pick up the gift of his atonement and use it. HE suffered the most unimaginable pain in hopes that we would because he loves us! This year each day in my planner says things like: Gospel study, FHE, temple, journal, do something nice for Mike, exercise etc...all with the focus of coming unto Christ.....and whatever else gets done gets done but those are the most important things and they are my focus, and somehow all the rest fits in even better then it did before! :) Happy 2017 everyone! I am turning 30 this year and having my 3rd child, how did that happen? But I am excited!

Let Him Be Your Caregiver

My little 3 year old Mila is so into Christmas this year and it has been so fun! It's really got me into the spirit of the season. I am much more motivated to do all the Christmasy things when Mila is so into it and it is making her so happy. Having a child who is so into Christmas is almost as good as being a child yourself during Christmas. I feel like we have already done a lot to celebrate and it's only December 3rd! I don't want to Christmas season to pass and feel like I just didn't soak up every minute of it. 

Part of my personal Christmas celebration has been to focus my studies on the Savior and who he is and what he's done for me and my personal relationship to him. It has really lifted my spirits and been such a great reminder that I am never alone and that there is always someone who loves me and he there to help me and who wants to bless me. I can't even fathom the suffering and pain and anguish that the Savior of the World went through. But he did it in hopes that we would come to him and let him help and bless and comfort us. He did it so that we will never have to be alone, so that we can have someone to run to, so that we can have someone who understands, so that we can be healed, cleansed and made whole. He did it willinging because he wanted to give us that gift, because he loves us. I can't even fathom the depth of his love and goodness. He does everything he can for us. 

I've been thinking about how we (I) seriously underestimate his readiness and even eagerness to help me. Even with the silliest of things. 

As a mom, my girls probably say my name a million times a day. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. As annoying as it is (sometimes I just want to go to the bathroom by myself or eat my lunch without little ones crawling on my lap and making a mess!) I am there for them, and I love to be there for them. Something about being a mom and providing them with love and trust and family and belonging gives me so much purpose and joy. There is not anything I wouldn't do for my girls. When they are hungry I want to feed them. When they want a book read to them, I want to read a book to them. When they want someone to play with, I want to play with them. When they get hurt, I want to hold and kiss them and tell them it will be ok. I want them to go to bed at night feeling safe and loved and happy. I want them to know that they have a mom who believes in them and is there for them. 

Jesus Christ is infinitely better, more giving and loving then me. So why do we doubt his willingness and eagerness to help us??? Why do we not believe that when we have a little or big problem that we can go ask for help and that he will willingly give it to us? Just because he loves us! He cares about the little things that trouble us everyday. We are just like children sometimes, we worry about things we don't need to. We need to be close to the one that sees and knows everything and trust that everything will be ok. That we are in his care. That he is aware of us individually and personally. He has never forgotten you! He has engraven you upon the palms of his hands. 

I've decided every day in December I am writing a quote about the savior down on a note card and keeping it in my pocket to read a few times a day. 

One of my favorite quotes comes from Elder Hales last talk..."If we loved the Savior more would we suffer less".... He talks about his wife Mary and how she has been his caregiver and then he pleads with us to let Christ be your caregiver.

That quote goes really well with a quote from Elder Holland that says "Never worry about Christ running out of ability to help you, that is the spiritual, eternal lesson of the feeding of the 5,000."

Jesus Christ is always reaching out to you and me even if we feel like he has given up on us, he won't. Even if we feel hopeless or helpless or broken he is there and he can help, he is eager and pleading and wanting to help. He died so that he can. He died with the very hopes that we would come to him and so that we can come to him. "There is no sorrow that heaven can't heal"

“No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. … He will [always] stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them." -George Q. Cannon

Well, I better go....Gabby just woke up and has said Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama 20 times already, sounds about right :) btw last night she slept with mila's swimsuit over her pj's because she saw it when I was folding laundry and wanted to wear it. why not? She will only be little and so cute for so long. 

-Meg