Relationship with gravity

I don't want to let my relationship with gravity steal anymore of my time, talent, relationships, or happiness! Freak, I let it take too much of my life already! Does it really have anything to do with me as a person!? Why is it so easy to believe that it does?? I'll tell you why...because there is a billion dollar diet industry invested in me (and you) hating our bodies. But truth is I'm not my weight! And I don't want to treat myself that way or let anyone else treat me that way. I deserve self respect no matter what the scale says! Instead I want to focus on true health and all the qualities that really matter! What matters to you?? Do you judge yourself or others by their relationship with gravity or by their character and who they really are as a person?

I think its pretty hilarious when people consider themselves health conscious but they frequently replace meals with diet soda, restrict their caloric intake to extremes, or run on a injured ankle because they don't want to miss their workout. Is that really good for our bodies? I don't think so. Are we really focused on true health or just our relationship with gravity? hmmm...Its all about where your coming from.... Is it a place of self love or a place of self hate? Are you trying to take care of your body so you can be your best self or are you preoccupied by all your imperfections and working against your genetics? Its a freeing feeling when you finally accept who you are and stop trying to change yourself and instead work on becoming your best self. Are you a slave to diets and numbers or binges and purges whether through vomiting, exercise or starving? Or are you coming from a place of "I want to take care of my body because I respect myself, and I want to feel my best." Because whichever viewpoint you are coming from makes alllll the difference.

Lately I have been trying to learn and REMEMBER that other people don't always know whats best for me! I can listen to their advice but In the end I have the final say. Sometimes I worry too much about what others think about what I'm eating. But they can't feel my hunger or my fullness, only I can. Sometimes when eating in public I eat even when I'm not hungry because I don't want people to think I'm restricting. Or sometimes when I want two cookies I will only have one because I don't want people to think I'm overeating.Or I really want dessert but won't get it because no one else does.I know this is horrible and so dumb. Sometimes I feel a need to prove to myself and others that I am an intuitive eater so I can eat that cookie, even when my body really doesn't want the cookie. Or sometimes I find it hard to say NO to someone who just thinks I am going to die if I don't accept their offer for seconds. When really I am comfortably full and satisfied. I have gotten really good at listening to my body and feeling my hunger and fullness so why don't I always tune into it? I let social outings, or others distract me. I need to not worry about what others think. Only I know what is best for my body, it is mine, and only I can feel it. Instead of looking for outside sources for approval I need to focus on listening to my heart. So I am really going to try and work on mindfully eating even at social outings and not worrying about what others think or don't think about my eating...because they probably don't even THINK about my eating ha ha, duh. Can anyone else relate?

PS: Don't use the "only I know what is best for myself" excuse to thrive in your eating disorder, sometimes at the beginning of recovery you DO need someone to make your eating choices for you. But where I am at the point where I truly have no desire or room for ED in my life and I want to be healthy I need to be better at trusting my instincts because my intentions are to take care of myself. :) yea nice try, I know how ED thinks ;)