We tend to think that men's expectations on women are what mainly drive women to be self critical especially about their bodies. But what about Women's expectations on Women? I think that is way worse. As women why are we so hard on each other? Why do we compare and compete so much! I think Satan knew that if he could get women to start being competitive, critical, envious, and jealous of each other that he could turn a lot of things upside down. As women we need to cultivate our god given attribute of love and nurturing instead of being prideful and hardening our hearts. competitiveness and jealousy cannot exist without pride. The world wants us to harden our hearts but its not the Lord's way. He wants us to help, encourage and support each other, not put each other down or judge each other.
How many times do you hear women say "I love your outfit", "have you lost weight?" "You look cute today"...this is my biggest pet peeve which is unfortunate because it happens a lot! I try not to grimmace when someone comments on my appearance first of and just say "thanks, you're so nice" Isn't that a much more meaningful compliment! I much rather be admired for being nice then for my clothes i'm wearing or how may fat cells are on my body. Woooo fat cells...scary ha ha jk that was insensitive but you get what I mean.
Why so much emphasis on the physical appearance, we are not what we look like. I really want to learn to connect with people on a spirit to spirit level, which is super duper challenging in this world of small talk and surface conversations. But they are so much easier to have. I bet if we knew people on a soul to soul level it would be a lot easier to love everyone. No one is a stranger to pain, suffering and trials. We are all human and we are all at war with Satan. The race is against sin, not each other.
When I was at CFC I got extremely close to all the girls there. I've never had such close friends. We didn't care what each other looked like, we knew all of each others insecurities and deepest pains. We were in groups with each other all day long everyday. We really got to know each other. We were all SO different. There was the laguna beach boob job platinum blonde hair girl who I learned was just a human with a human heart just like me, I grew to love that girl. There was the tom boy who loved horse back riding, always wore a hat, and usually sat in the corner and didn't barely talk her first month there but then really came out of her shell. Her hugs were thee best. There was my roomie and bff from Wisconsin, she is the funniest person I know, she was born with one lung and as a result has a really distinct voice, sometimes I hear it in my head and it makes me miss her like crazy. There was Lori, she was 60 years old and her ED had taken up most of her life, her ED aged her and she looked like she was close to 80. She didn't talk much but the few times she talked to me she was very nice and there were a couple times where she would say something to have the whole room laughing. I found out that soon after she left treatment she passed away as a result of her eating disorder. It's so unfortunate and sad that her ED stole her life, while she was alive and eventually literally. She was better then that.
There were all kinds of girls from all different walks of life. Sad thing is that I probably would not have taken the time outside of the center to really get to know those girls because they were so different then me. But that is not right. We are all just people, we have more in common then we realize. We all deal with life, insecurities, doubts, fears, frustrations. Nobody is immune to that.
I really want to try to get to know people soul to soul even though that scares me to death, good thing I am trying to learn how to face my fears of being vulnerable.
So lets try to put all pre-judgments and physical appearances aside and focus on the heart. And as women lets stop judging each other and show more love and encouragement because we're all fighting the same fight. Especially with weight, its nuts how much people talk about weight loss, especially women! It's not that important! Yes, being healthy is vital to living life to its fullest but health comes in a bunch of different shapes and sizes. Genetics play a huge factor. You're worth is not determined by your relationship with gravity!
Instead of being critical, look for the good in each other
Instead of comparing, celebrate each others differences, we are all unique and that is awesome!
Instead of being jealous count your own blessing and be grateful for all that you have and be happy for others!
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