I am ALL too familiar with this intersection.
I am really struggling with perfectionism right now, which is leading to depression.
It's no fun telling yourself in your head that you're not good enough all day.
I think a one key to overcoming this is going to be looking at what I DO do, instead of focusing on everything I don't do. One time at the end of a hard day my husband and I had this conversation:
Mike: "what's wrong"
Me: "i'm just feeling really down on myself right now"
Mike: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know"
Mike: "You did so much today, you got this done and this done and this done.."
Me: "Holy cow, I did do all that today." I immediately felt better about myself and my day. The only thing that changed was my perspective. Instead of focusing on my failures I was thinking about my strengths. Instead of seeing all that I didn't do I was focusing on all that I did do.
Mike: "what's wrong"
Me: "i'm just feeling really down on myself right now"
Mike: "Why?"
Me: "I don't know"
Mike: "You did so much today, you got this done and this done and this done.."
Me: "Holy cow, I did do all that today." I immediately felt better about myself and my day. The only thing that changed was my perspective. Instead of focusing on my failures I was thinking about my strengths. Instead of seeing all that I didn't do I was focusing on all that I did do.
I have done previous posts on perfectionism and worked a bit on it at CFC and throughout my recovery but I've never really tackled it. I can see that its slowly been creeping up on me. I just want to take my heart and soul back from perfectionism, it is so paralyzing. Dr. B, co-founder of The Center for Change once said to me: "perfectionism is a killer of the soul." Like the above quote says it's best friends with shame and fear which is not good. Yea, I don't like those words.
I think I have developed perfectionism as a way to cope with things in my life that feel chaotic and out of control. I also think I was born with a perfectionist tendency and my competitive gymnastics fueled the fire a billion degrees. But "a problem without a solution is just complaining" so as I tackle this I am going to be coming up with solutions. So if you struggle with perfectionism too look back here for things that helped me and can hopefully help you too.
I think I have developed perfectionism as a way to cope with things in my life that feel chaotic and out of control. I also think I was born with a perfectionist tendency and my competitive gymnastics fueled the fire a billion degrees. But "a problem without a solution is just complaining" so as I tackle this I am going to be coming up with solutions. So if you struggle with perfectionism too look back here for things that helped me and can hopefully help you too.
Step one: getting mad at your perfectionism and taking your life back..."stupid perfectionism, get outta here!"
Can't wait to get Brene' Browns book "The gifts of perfectionism" for Christmas!
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