Free to be Me

Sorry about the absence, I just got back from a 5 day vacation in Cabo with my hubby for his work (which made it free so it was that much better)! It was a blast! Besides missing my girl an incredible amount we had SO much fun and were reminded of how much fun we have together. But it is good to be home. I love my comfy bed, my home, and my simple life. And I can't get enough cuddles from Mila. There truly is no place like home. But I loved the adventure! 

So while I was there I had one of those moments where I was like, "wow it feels SO good to be so recoverd, I wouldn't have even been able to do this 6 years ago." There were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of very skinny, very glamorous women in bikinis. And I was confident in who I was. That is amazing. I didn't wish I was one of them at all. I was happy to be me. To love adventure, to love having fun, to be genuine and real, to not be afraid to eat a little more on vacation and still love myself. I feel good about me and I know my weight doesn't reflect my worth. Take that, ED. 5 years ago I probably, no I would have had a minor panic anxiety attack and shrunk into insecurity and comparison. But I am over the weight. skinny does not equal happiness. Yea I may be insecure about some aspects of my body, that is just part of growing up in this world as a woman, but I don't love me for what my body looks like, I love me for who I am as a person, and I know I am a good person. 

It matters WAY more what you think about yourself then what others think about you.

While we were there my hubby said to me he is so glad he is married to me and that I respect my body and don't wear skimpy swimsuits because he knows my body is just for him and that it is sacred. He also said how he is so glad I love to have fun and be adventurous. I am so grateful I have a husband that loves me for me.

I am really learning to love being myself and just accept all of me- everything I love about myself and everything that is harder to love about me. Instead of constantly nagging myself about the person I should be or the person I wish I was and just fully embrace and accept who I am. I was given a key chain at CFC that had the words "free to be me" engraven on it. I think that is such a good saying for people in recovery from ED's. Healing from ED really sets you free to just be yourself instead of rigidly trying to become good enough. You are already good enough. You are loved just as you are, people just want you to be yourself, people just want you to be happy. We can enjoy the journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves but we don't need to try and be something we're not. Self acceptance is a healing process.

I love us

Giving it the last who-ra in the pool before we said our goodbyes to Cabo

In case you didn't know, I wish we cartwheeled everywhere instead of walked

 Mila having fun with her Auntie Steph while we were gone!

 By the way, I am planning on re-vamping a new and improved blog! I want to help as many people as I can so I want to get my blog out there but before I do that I want to change a few things. One being the name, I think I need something shorter and catchier,

so if you have any suggestions I could use them. I am thinking of aglimmerofhope.blogspot.com, thoughts? although it is taken but I'm seeing if I can get it. I also want to start posting something little EVERYDAY and get a little more personal with pictures and such. Anyway I'm really excited about it but want to think about it and do it just how I want it so let me know what ya think. 

Love you all!