Dear Body

Dear body of mine,

I did not realize what a gift you are, I took you for granted. Once upon a time I was so excited to meet you and get to live in you. You would allow me to do everything I could not do without you. You would help me grow and learn and experience in ways that I couldn't without you. You would help me come alive! I'm sorry, I didn't realize how special, vital, & unique you are.

Please forgive me for all the times I hated you and wanted to get rid of you, and for all the times I mistreated you and abused you. I feel so horrible for all the times you were telling me I'm hungry and I ignored you thinking I was doing you a favor. And for all the times I put you through so much stress with my head in the toilet. I thought you did, but you didn't deserve that, no body does. I didn't know then, but I know now. We are doing so good, its been over two years since I treated you that badly! I promise I will treat you with the love and respect you merit.

I did not realize that you are MINE. That I did not have to listen to all those people telling me there was something wrong with you, that I needed to "fix" you, or that you were not good enough. I realize now that you don't want to be the center of attention that your purpose is to help me, who I am, quirks and all, shine through. I thought you wanted to be admired and give the illusion of perfection. I thought that's how I would be acceptable and worthy of love. I did not know you just wanted me to let go and be myself. That I already have something worthwhile and lovable about me and that I am worthy of being loved and my Love is worth having. I know now, and I promise that I will do my best to love and be loved without being perfect or expecting perfection from others. I promise that I will allow myself to be human. 

I wish I would have protected you from those who just wanted to harm you. And then I blamed you for it and continued treating you that way because I felt you deserved it. How unfair of me, but I didn't know better; Never again. I know now that you were on my side all along. I will forever be on your team. I will be your ally and advocate, not your enemy. I will not believe bad things others may say about you and I will certainly not let others treat you badly. I will stick up for you. 

I will accept you "flaws" and all, because you are mine. I will take care of you, you can count on me. I will choose to love you for what you are. I will treat you with respect. I will not deprive you of food when you ask for it and I will stop eating when you have had enough. I will be active and strong. Not helpless and weak. I will use you to let my deep beauty, qualities, talents, and attributes shine through instead of using you to hide them.

I refuse to believe the lies that you are merely something to be looked at, that you will function better at a smaller size, or that you are me. We are healthy, that is all that matters. I can't believe I have never realized that before. All this time I have believed I am not healthy because I don't measure up (or I guess down) to pictures I see on TV or even comparing myself to people around me. But I am so healthy, by the real definition of the word. There is nothing wrong with you. I will not compare you anymore, because you are mine and as long as I treat you with love and respect and properly take care of you I don't have to worry about my relationship with gravity. I will not let the amount of space you take up steal anymore of my time, talents or happiness. I will let myself be happy! 

Lastly I want to thank you for my beautiful daughter. She is absolutely perfect and beautiful. She is strong, healthy, vibrant and happy! I can see her little personality shining through already. I can't quite get over how much I love her. I love my little post pregnancy pooch it reminds me of the miracle that took place right inside of me. It reminds me that I am capable of miracles. Thank you for helping me create her, you truly are an amazing gift. I will spend the rest of my life treating you as the God given gift that you are!

Sincerely your friend,

Meg

Body Image Challenge, Day 8

THE CHALLENGE:

SELF TALK

Pay attention to your thoughts today. Ask yourself, how do my thoughts make me feel?

Is what I'm thinking really TRUE? Practice challenging your negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones.

Our thoughts determine how we feel and act. If we talked to others the way we talk to ourselves we would be ashamed. The beauty of being human is that we can control our thoughts. Start by recognizing your thoughts, challenging them and then replacing them.

Journal: What was your experience today? Write for at least 10 minutes.

Distorted Thinking/Irrational Beliefs

1. All-or-Nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black and white categories.

2. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern or defeat.

3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives

4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don't count

5. Jumping to conclusions: You conclude things are bad without any definite evidence. By either A) mind reading, you assume people are reacting negatively to you. or B) Fortune-telling; you predict that things will turn out badly.

6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance

7. Emotional Reasoning: You reason from how you feel: "I feel like an idiot so I must be one"

8 "Should" statements: Having an idea of how things "should" be and deeming yourself a failure or feeling out of control when things turn out differently, Inflexible.

9. Labeling: Instead of saying, "I made a mistake, you tell yourself "I'm a jerk or a loser"

10. Blame: You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.

Oh manny I am so guilty of some of these. Changing our thoughts is hard, but the power of our thoughts is amazing! Being aware of what kind of unhelpful thinking we struggle with is the first step. Try making a list of positive affirmations that combat the negative thoughts you find yourself having often.
For example: (and I have no idea where these thoughts came from, its not like i've ever had them before :)

Thought: That person could do a much better job at this than me
Combat: I have my own strengths and I have a lot to give to others I will not keep my talents and abilities hidden

Thought: That person thinks badly of me
Combat: You are not a mind reader, there is no evidence that they think that and you have done nothing to make them think that.

Thought: I am not doing good enough
Combat: You have done a lot of good! Look at all the positives and all the progress you have made

Thought: Today was a horrible day
Combat: It wasn't ALL bad, there were good moments too, choose to focus on those

You get the picture.