Free to be Me

Sorry about the absence, I just got back from a 5 day vacation in Cabo with my hubby for his work (which made it free so it was that much better)! It was a blast! Besides missing my girl an incredible amount we had SO much fun and were reminded of how much fun we have together. But it is good to be home. I love my comfy bed, my home, and my simple life. And I can't get enough cuddles from Mila. There truly is no place like home. But I loved the adventure! 

So while I was there I had one of those moments where I was like, "wow it feels SO good to be so recoverd, I wouldn't have even been able to do this 6 years ago." There were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of very skinny, very glamorous women in bikinis. And I was confident in who I was. That is amazing. I didn't wish I was one of them at all. I was happy to be me. To love adventure, to love having fun, to be genuine and real, to not be afraid to eat a little more on vacation and still love myself. I feel good about me and I know my weight doesn't reflect my worth. Take that, ED. 5 years ago I probably, no I would have had a minor panic anxiety attack and shrunk into insecurity and comparison. But I am over the weight. skinny does not equal happiness. Yea I may be insecure about some aspects of my body, that is just part of growing up in this world as a woman, but I don't love me for what my body looks like, I love me for who I am as a person, and I know I am a good person. 

It matters WAY more what you think about yourself then what others think about you.

While we were there my hubby said to me he is so glad he is married to me and that I respect my body and don't wear skimpy swimsuits because he knows my body is just for him and that it is sacred. He also said how he is so glad I love to have fun and be adventurous. I am so grateful I have a husband that loves me for me.

I am really learning to love being myself and just accept all of me- everything I love about myself and everything that is harder to love about me. Instead of constantly nagging myself about the person I should be or the person I wish I was and just fully embrace and accept who I am. I was given a key chain at CFC that had the words "free to be me" engraven on it. I think that is such a good saying for people in recovery from ED's. Healing from ED really sets you free to just be yourself instead of rigidly trying to become good enough. You are already good enough. You are loved just as you are, people just want you to be yourself, people just want you to be happy. We can enjoy the journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves but we don't need to try and be something we're not. Self acceptance is a healing process.

I love us

Giving it the last who-ra in the pool before we said our goodbyes to Cabo

In case you didn't know, I wish we cartwheeled everywhere instead of walked

 Mila having fun with her Auntie Steph while we were gone!

 By the way, I am planning on re-vamping a new and improved blog! I want to help as many people as I can so I want to get my blog out there but before I do that I want to change a few things. One being the name, I think I need something shorter and catchier,

so if you have any suggestions I could use them. I am thinking of aglimmerofhope.blogspot.com, thoughts? although it is taken but I'm seeing if I can get it. I also want to start posting something little EVERYDAY and get a little more personal with pictures and such. Anyway I'm really excited about it but want to think about it and do it just how I want it so let me know what ya think. 

Love you all!

After baby weight loss craziness

I've been feeling lately that I really need to work on my blog more. I feel that it is one of my purposes here on earth to help others, especially, women come to KNOW the truth about who they really truly are. I feel like I went through my Eating Disorder, depression, low self-esteem and all those things so that I could overcome it and help others! Getting to go to the Center for Change and learning all that I have learned is a huge blessing and gift from God that I am not meant to keep to myself but to share with you. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at how much I have to learn, and how weak I still am, and how far I have to go to become my best self, but then when I look back to six years ago and where I am today I can hold my head up high and as Elder Holland puts it "Hope on, Journey on." So I am not perfect, I have a long way to go, but I have come SO far. I feel like I was so fortunate to learn so much to overcome my Eating Disorder, all things that I don't take credit for but are a gift from God, a gift he expects me to share because heaven knows women need it living in our world today! There is obviously an attack against women and it breaks my heart as I have really grown to  understand and cherish the true purpose of womanhood. That understanding about who I really truly am is one of the very most helpful things that has helped me overcome my ED. 

So my first post of my re-vamped blog is going to be something that I think every new mom needs to hear! (I am speaking to myself here too:) 

There is too much pressure put on moms to lose all of their baby weight (if not more) and fast! There is so much pressure on new moms, not to mention the precious little baby who's every need now depends on you, we don't need to throw weight loss into the mix too! I think it contributes to much of the mommy blues (not to mention hormones, pressure to be super mom, a changing lifestyle, and lack of sleep) But I think its so unfortunate that new mom's are bombarded with that message so much (Thanks to our society).You just created LIFE! Your body is a rock star! A human being, pumping heart and all, that didn't exist before just came out of you. That is pretty freaking amazing! Our bodies are MEANT to go through pregnancy. They were created for that purpose. It is a natural thing since the beginning of time. I feel like a lot of times pregnancy is seen as a disorder or disease or something that your body has to go through and then you have to recover from it as quick as you can. Pregnancy is the greatest miracle we will ever experience! When we take the focus off of our weight and put it on TAKING CARE of our bodies and thanking them for their pure amazement and the gift that they are our weight will take care of itself. Whether you need to lose, stay the same or gain, as long as you are treating your body with love and respect you don't have to worry where on the scale it decides to be. It all starts will self-love. If your eating choices come from a place of shame and self-hate or disgust they are not going to be helpful. If they come from a place of self love at least I find I make better choices! Be cautious and aware of the diet scams out there! They are everywhere and 99.9 percent of them aren't really good for our bodies. Nothing can replace a healthy lifestyle. Also beware the word healthy is very  VERY distorted now days. Geez. 


Your body is yours. Think of that, your body is unique, like no one else's in the world, And it is all yours. LOVE IT, just as it is right now. THANK IT, especially if you just had a baby, and TAKE CARE of it.

Before I was pregnant, while I was pregnant and post baby I have eaten the same. And my body has just done what it does. No diets. No future fear of being deprived or diet re-bounds. Just "normal" eating. (to be defined in another post, at least my definition) Now, I am definitely definitely not perfect and have had my hard days but overall this is how its been. I gained what my body wanted to for my pregnancy and lost what it wanted to after it. All just with the goal of taking care of my body and my baby. We need to take the focus off of diets and weight loss and put it on taking care of our bodies. The diet industry thrives on us feeling bad about ourselves and just wants our money. Fad diets don't work. We don't need six packs. Exercise is to make us feel strong and invigorated not worn out and tired and no matter how much weight you lose it won't make you be a better mommy. Yes, being healthy will contribute to you being a good mom. But it does not matter what size you are! grrrr....now I am all fired up. I love this....

The first year fly's by, I can't believe my little Mila girl is already exactly 9 months tomorrow! Don't regret being in a fog of diets and exercise. Love yourself right now, just the way you are. Take care of yourself so you can take better care of your family. The best thing you can give them is a healthy you. LOVE your baby to death. Don't get too overwhelmed with the expectations, should's, should not's, baby books, opinions of others, and let go of control. Go with the flow a little more and enjoy your baby as much as possible! They are so precious. They will never be little again. Believe you are a good mommy, because you are. You get to decide for yourself if you like your body, don't let the low self-esteem thriving industry tell you otherwise. Remember that character, confidence, how you treat others, your values and the unique person you are is what makes you BEAUTIFUL. And believe that you are beautiful, because you are. If you don't think you're beautiful when your daughter grows up she's not going to think she is either. Help her have confidence in the future by finding a little in yourself. 

Much Love

Dear Body

Dear body of mine,

I did not realize what a gift you are, I took you for granted. Once upon a time I was so excited to meet you and get to live in you. You would allow me to do everything I could not do without you. You would help me grow and learn and experience in ways that I couldn't without you. You would help me come alive! I'm sorry, I didn't realize how special, vital, & unique you are.

Please forgive me for all the times I hated you and wanted to get rid of you, and for all the times I mistreated you and abused you. I feel so horrible for all the times you were telling me I'm hungry and I ignored you thinking I was doing you a favor. And for all the times I put you through so much stress with my head in the toilet. I thought you did, but you didn't deserve that, no body does. I didn't know then, but I know now. We are doing so good, its been over two years since I treated you that badly! I promise I will treat you with the love and respect you merit.

I did not realize that you are MINE. That I did not have to listen to all those people telling me there was something wrong with you, that I needed to "fix" you, or that you were not good enough. I realize now that you don't want to be the center of attention that your purpose is to help me, who I am, quirks and all, shine through. I thought you wanted to be admired and give the illusion of perfection. I thought that's how I would be acceptable and worthy of love. I did not know you just wanted me to let go and be myself. That I already have something worthwhile and lovable about me and that I am worthy of being loved and my Love is worth having. I know now, and I promise that I will do my best to love and be loved without being perfect or expecting perfection from others. I promise that I will allow myself to be human. 

I wish I would have protected you from those who just wanted to harm you. And then I blamed you for it and continued treating you that way because I felt you deserved it. How unfair of me, but I didn't know better; Never again. I know now that you were on my side all along. I will forever be on your team. I will be your ally and advocate, not your enemy. I will not believe bad things others may say about you and I will certainly not let others treat you badly. I will stick up for you. 

I will accept you "flaws" and all, because you are mine. I will take care of you, you can count on me. I will choose to love you for what you are. I will treat you with respect. I will not deprive you of food when you ask for it and I will stop eating when you have had enough. I will be active and strong. Not helpless and weak. I will use you to let my deep beauty, qualities, talents, and attributes shine through instead of using you to hide them.

I refuse to believe the lies that you are merely something to be looked at, that you will function better at a smaller size, or that you are me. We are healthy, that is all that matters. I can't believe I have never realized that before. All this time I have believed I am not healthy because I don't measure up (or I guess down) to pictures I see on TV or even comparing myself to people around me. But I am so healthy, by the real definition of the word. There is nothing wrong with you. I will not compare you anymore, because you are mine and as long as I treat you with love and respect and properly take care of you I don't have to worry about my relationship with gravity. I will not let the amount of space you take up steal anymore of my time, talents or happiness. I will let myself be happy! 

Lastly I want to thank you for my beautiful daughter. She is absolutely perfect and beautiful. She is strong, healthy, vibrant and happy! I can see her little personality shining through already. I can't quite get over how much I love her. I love my little post pregnancy pooch it reminds me of the miracle that took place right inside of me. It reminds me that I am capable of miracles. Thank you for helping me create her, you truly are an amazing gift. I will spend the rest of my life treating you as the God given gift that you are!

Sincerely your friend,

Meg

Pregnancy and Intutive Eating

I'm back! Sorry for the LOA, I had a baby and decided to take a break and enjoy my little girl and get used to being a new mommy. What's that? You want a picture! Okay, I guess... get ready to see the cutest little girl you've ever seen....

 Mila Mae

She's smiling now!

Pregnancy went really well for me, I was kind of nervous with my ED past but I seriously didn't struggle the entire time I was pregnant. It got difficult towards the end because I felt ginormous but it was mostly just uncomfortable and being SO ready to meet my baby. This whole process has actually helped me appreciate and love my body more. I am AMAZED at what it just did. This little girl grew inside of me and then came out and there is NEW LIFE. I feel more respect for my body and I am grateful to be a woman and get to witness this miracle. I can't believe how much I love this little girl and how much joy and happiness she brings to mine and my husbands life. We just love her! 

After I had her, it was the weirdest thing, but I started struggling with food. I wondered how I could go my entire pregnancy without struggling at all and then all of the sudden struggle so badly. It really caught me off guard. I think it had something to do with hormonal changes, being home alone all the time, breastfeeding and feeling super hungry, and being SO SO SO tired. Being tired, isolation, getting overly hungry, and that time of the month have always been huge triggers that I have had to be aware of.

My first method of attack was to give up all trigger foods just for awhile while I was stuck in the house alone so much. It helped, for awhile. Until I gave in and had a trigger food, then I wanted it ALL. Come on Megan, how many times have you been down this road. Long story short I learned once again that Intuitive Eating is whats right for me. The whole reason I had such a great pregnancy is because I am an intuitive eater. The whole reason I didn't gain any unnecessary weight is because I was an intuitive eater before my pregnancy and during my pregnancy. My body knows I'm not going to play games with it. My body knows what to do with food when it gets it and it knows it will get it again when it is hungry. My body knows I am not going to diet and it has worked for me for years so why was I trying to change that? I may never be "skinny" according to the worlds standards but I am healthy and fit (well, kinda I tried to do a pull up last night and could not do it! this is sad...I could do 8 in a row before pregnancy, its really crazy how it changes your body! But every bit worth my precious girl) If I can stay consistently this weight and healthy and fit and FREE from food obsession I will do it and let go of being "skinny" I have come to the conclusion that "Life is too short not to be an intuitive eater!"

So this week I am really trying to work on my Intuitive Eating Skills. Intuitive eating is different for everyone. It's all about listening to your bodies signals of hunger and satiety. I have found that when I am satisfied from a meal I eat far less then when I am unsatisfied. And when I eat considering my body, mind, and spirit I eat healthy and balanced and delicious. I am glad I went through that little trial because I learned a lot from it. I want to be able to ENJOY food and be a healthy example for my husband and kids.  

If anybody wants help with Intuitive Eating I would be happy to help. I by no means claim to be a perfect expert but I have learned a lot and am striving myself to be better at it. I also believe Intuitive Eating is an individual thing and I don't know whats best for you, YOU DO. But I can share with you what has helped me! Email me at meggardner27@gmail.com

It's good to be back, I love life without ED and am SO SO SO grateful for where my life is today.

Is fitspiration the new thinspiration?

Are you way sick of all the seemingly innocent posts on pinterest that are clearly eating disordered? I sure am. Beauty Redefined put out a fantastic article today on how fitspiration is just as harmful as thinspiration....to go to the article click here. You have to read it! Its soooooo good! I hope every women in the world can come to the realization that its about health and taking care of our spirits not about being a clothes hanger. Remember true health is distorted these days. After all we are SOOOOOO much more than something to look at! 

YW Challenge!

Sooooo I'm really sorry I haven't posted the Intuitive Eating Principle of the week yet. Hopefully all 3 of you that read my blog survived Monday. hahhaha jk jk but I will get it up tonight :) I've been busy working on a presentation I am giving to the Young Women in my ward tomorrow. I created a 10 day challenge for them entitled "The Truth about Who You Really Are"  It's similar to the Body Image Challenge we did on here but I changed a lot of it making it more spiritually based and geared toward Young Women ages 12-18. But anyone can do it! I'm super excited about it and think it turned out GREAT! I really hope it helps some of these girls remember and KNOW who they really truely are! GRRRRRRRRR SATAN......ha ha. ITS ON! So if you look at the top of my blog there is a new tab that says YW Challenge, click on that and it will take you to the link that will open up the challenge and you can print it out for yourself, or the Young Women in your ward or whoever you'd like! Its designed to be made into a little booklet. Its easy, you just cut the pages in half and staple them together. walaaa.

Or you can just click here and it will take you to it, but for the future you'll probably want to use the "YW Challenge" tab. Oh and someone please tell me if the link doesn't work for you, it was working for me but  i'm not the best with computers so who knows! Thanks!

This Video touches me everytime I watch it. There is purpose in our trials and this life is so much more than what we see. If you want to visit Stephanies blog there is a link to it on the right side of my blog, its called nienie :)

Body Image Challenge Final Day! Day 10

The Challenge:

NOW WHAT?


Reflect in your journal about where your 10 day challenge has taken you, and where you want to go from here. What can you continue to do to improve your body image? Body acceptance is a lifelong process. Some days we will do better than others. Everyday we have to wake up and make a decision to love and accept ourselves inside and out. As you continue to be mindful of this journey you will find more and more freedom from comparing, negative self talk, and find lasting self confidence on the things that really matter; your relationships, personality, talents and relationship with God.

I learned during this body image challenge that having a positive body image doesn't necessarily mean you like the way your body looks, it means that you appreciate it for what it does for you and that you cherish it as a gift from God. We have to decide to accept our bodies just the way they are and not compare to others but focus on our health and being the best YOU you can be. AWESOME JOB to everyone who did it! Don't stop now, I am going to try to implement these body image skills into my everyday life and overtime our body image will improve. I am so grateful for my body and have come leaps and bounds from where my relationship with my body use to be. NEVER GIVE UP! :) Jenni Schaefer says negative body image is the last thing to go in recovery... which makes since because it was the first thing to come in our ED. But she says it DOES go. And I'm seeing that more, at times its felt hopeless but positive body image doesn't come from having a perfect body it comes from choosing to love the one you have! Someone with a socially unacceptable or "heavy" body could very well have a more positive body image than someone who is thin and toned and everything else everyone seems to praise. Because positive body image comes from within. If you are miserable and unhappy with who you are that is not going to change from losing weight! And if you are happy with who you are you are more likely to care for and respect your body. GO RECOVERY!

Body Image Challenge, Day 9

THE CHALLENGE:

BODY KINDNESS

Be kind to your body today. Take a nap, go for a walk, enroll in a yoga class, get a massage, take a bubble bath, get a pedicure or manicure, or cook yourself a delicious meal. We have been trained to hate our bodies. We pluck, tweeze, shape, mold, sculpt, and otherwise try to change our appearances. Your body is the vehicle that will carry you to your dreams--treat it with kindness and love. We must cherish our bodies as God-given gifts.

Journal: What did you do? How did it make your body feel?

I love this...

Body Image Challenge, Day 8

THE CHALLENGE:

SELF TALK

Pay attention to your thoughts today. Ask yourself, how do my thoughts make me feel?

Is what I'm thinking really TRUE? Practice challenging your negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones.

Our thoughts determine how we feel and act. If we talked to others the way we talk to ourselves we would be ashamed. The beauty of being human is that we can control our thoughts. Start by recognizing your thoughts, challenging them and then replacing them.

Journal: What was your experience today? Write for at least 10 minutes.

Distorted Thinking/Irrational Beliefs

1. All-or-Nothing thinking: You look at things in absolute, black and white categories.

2. Overgeneralization: You view a negative event as a never-ending pattern or defeat.

3. Mental filter: You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives

4. Discounting the positives: You insist that your accomplishments or positive qualities don't count

5. Jumping to conclusions: You conclude things are bad without any definite evidence. By either A) mind reading, you assume people are reacting negatively to you. or B) Fortune-telling; you predict that things will turn out badly.

6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance

7. Emotional Reasoning: You reason from how you feel: "I feel like an idiot so I must be one"

8 "Should" statements: Having an idea of how things "should" be and deeming yourself a failure or feeling out of control when things turn out differently, Inflexible.

9. Labeling: Instead of saying, "I made a mistake, you tell yourself "I'm a jerk or a loser"

10. Blame: You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for, or you blame other people and overlook ways that you contributed to a problem.

Oh manny I am so guilty of some of these. Changing our thoughts is hard, but the power of our thoughts is amazing! Being aware of what kind of unhelpful thinking we struggle with is the first step. Try making a list of positive affirmations that combat the negative thoughts you find yourself having often.
For example: (and I have no idea where these thoughts came from, its not like i've ever had them before :)

Thought: That person could do a much better job at this than me
Combat: I have my own strengths and I have a lot to give to others I will not keep my talents and abilities hidden

Thought: That person thinks badly of me
Combat: You are not a mind reader, there is no evidence that they think that and you have done nothing to make them think that.

Thought: I am not doing good enough
Combat: You have done a lot of good! Look at all the positives and all the progress you have made

Thought: Today was a horrible day
Combat: It wasn't ALL bad, there were good moments too, choose to focus on those

You get the picture.

Body Image Challenge, Day 7

THE CHALLENGE:

TUNE OUT THE MEDIA

Tune out media – no TV, movies, magazines and internet surfing. Instead tune in to nature. Notice a sunset, gaze at the stars, sit by a stream and listen to the water.

The media constantly barrages us with unrealistic and unhealthy ideals of

beauty. Because we are incessantly bombarded, it is impossible to remain unaffected.

Get in touch with who you are independent of these messages and find your center in

things that are real and lasting--your personality, nature, and your relationships.

Journal: What did you tune into when you tuned out the media?

Sorry I skipped a day I usually won't post on Sundays. When I was at CFC I made a commitment to not look at Beauty and Health magazines anymore and I honestly haven't in over 4 years. I know how they make me feel about myself so its better for me to just stay away from them. There have been numerous studies done about the negative effects they have on women. Research indicates that exposure to images of thin, young, air-brushed female bodies is linked to depression, loss of self-esteem and the development of unhealthy eating habits in women and girls. The diet industry is worth 40 to 100 billion dollars a year selling temporary weight loss! 90 to 95% of dieters regain all lost weight and then some. People are dieting themselves to a heavier weight. Eating habits that use to be considered harmful to the body are now considered "healthy". The diet industry is invested in womens insecurities. They show photo shopped images of under weight and unrealistic bodies on one page and on the next page the new weight loss gimmick. I think its so good to unplug from media and focus on what really is. I can definitly work on this! Let's not subject ourselves to the world of diet and media craziness where you never feel good enough. Instead of being victims to the media lets stand up for what is real and lasting!

Body Image Challenge, Day 4

THE CHALLENGE:

GET READY ON THE INSIDE

How much time do you spend getting ready each day? Today, use the same amount of time to get ready on the inside. Meditate, write in your journal, or perform an act of service.

Women spend thousands of hours on their appearances over a lifetime. Think

about what you could accomplish if you spent the same amount of time each day preparing your inner self. How would you be different? How would each day be different?

Journal: Did you notice a difference in how you felt throughout the day? Explore why or why not.

Body Image Challenge, Day 3

THE CHALLENGE:

10 POSITIVE THINGS

Make a list of 10 positive things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with your appearance--and 10 positive things you like about your appearance.

Your perception of yourself includes the physical. We won’t pretend it’s

not important--physical factors are part of the mortal world we live in. We’ve challenged you to make two lists because both your inner and outer beauty affect you--and there will be times you feel insecure about both.

Refer back to your lists and remember the positive.

Journal: Was it easier to come up with things you like about yourself, or things about your appearance?

Body Image Challenge, day 2

THE CHALLENGE:
GOD’S DEFINITION OF BEAUTY

Study what beauty is from a gospel perspective.
Start by reading “True Beauty” by Lynn G. Robbins 
(http://www.lds.org/new-era/2008/11/true-beauty?lang=eng&query=true+beauty)
 and 1Samuel 16:7 and 1 Corinthians 3:16.

WHY: God is our Heavenly Father, and He knows us better than anyone--He created us! He knows most intimately how beautiful we are, and He will tell us if we seek Him. A relationship with Heavenly Father is essential if we are to truly understand beauty and our worth... Of all the things that have helped me recover from my eating disorder nothing can compare to the strength I find in having a relationship with my father in heaven and aligning my will with his. 
 Journal: From your study, how do you think Heavenly Father defines beauty?

Why might this be hard to internalize and believe?

First of all, I LOVE love love the "True Beauty" talk. wow, I love it. did I say I love it? It is amazing and you should definitely read it! Its a keeper for sure and one to read often.

^{I especially loved the part where it says "with our Father in Heavens Help our Faith, Hope and Optimism can grow." We don't have to do it by ourselves. We can ask our loving father in heaven who is eager to help us and to be our teacher. He is an all knowing teacher. Ask him to help you believe in your own potential and to see who you truly are, to see yourself through his eyes. I know he will help you. I know that he loves us. And that he has a specific plan for YOU. NOBODY is put on this earth without a purpose and our Father in Heaven is really there and he will help you fulfill that purpose and help you see yourself and the world in a whole new light. He can help us change and he can heal us. He already knows what we need. Just go to him.
I know this is true!}

^{One of my favorite scriptures is D&C 121:45- Let Virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly, then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of god. One time when I was feeling inadequate and down on myself; Ya know like we all sometimes do. I went to the scriptures with the question of 'how can I feel more confident in myself?.. I came across this scripture, and I realized we find confidence in ourselves when we are living in a way that if we were standing in the presence of god we would feel confident. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, as long as god approves of what we are doing and you KNOW he is proud of your effort and progress then you will have true confidence. "Let Virtue Garnish thy thoughts unceasingly, THEN shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God."}

  "When virtue is combined with obedience to the Lord’s laws of health and respect for the human body, young people truly become temples in which the Holy Ghost dwells, giving them a beautiful aura. It is this beauty that is most becoming and enduring."

- True Beauty by Lynn G. Robbins

^{This just hit me...each temple is so beautiful and so different.}

^{Just like us :)}

^{I think when our Father in Heaven sees beauty he sees  Purity, Truth & Love, someone who knows and seeks to be like their savior, someone who REJOICES in the atonement and lives with HOPE, HAPPINESS and GRATITUDE.}

How do YOU think Heavenly Father defines beauty?

Body Image Challenge Day 1

The Challenge:

  Write for at least ten minutes in your journal expressing gratitude for all the things your body allows you to do. 

Also today and throughout the 10 day challenge refrain from weighing yourself.  

To download the 10 day body image challenge and do it with me click on this link: https://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/

The not weighing myself part was really easy for me because I don't weigh myself anymore :) Its so freeing to focus on how I feel and my health rather than a stupid number that I'm never going to be happy with anyways, and that doesn't necessarily reflect my health.
My journal experience was awesome! I use to do things like this at CFC all the time and I always find it very helpful, I'm going to try to do it more often!
While I was writing I got to thinking about how positive body image doesn't come from loving how you look, in fact it doesn't come from outer appearance at all. Instead it comes from appreciating the person you are- the soul you are; and appreciating all that your body allows you to experience and enjoy. I've asked myself the question, why is it important for me to take care of my physical body? I've come to realize its because it effects my soul. By caring for our bodies we are caring for the home of our souls. When we don't care for our physical bodies (by either eating too much or too little, or working out too much or not being active) we are damaging our souls and cheating our potential. My commitment to be healthy (true healthy not the medias distorted idea of healthy) has changed from a physical goal to a spiritual goal. My reasons behind wanting to be healthy stem from wanting to have a sharp mind and the energy I need to become the best I can be. Not to see a certain # on the scale or fit into my skinny jeans.
I also thought about how grateful I am to be a woman of strength! I don't want to be itty bitty, I am proud of my curves! Now days it seems like women are suppose to live up to this standard of being so skinny and physically perfect that they are portrayed as FRAIL and WEAK. NO! What is that?! Women are suppose to be strong! Real Woman have character and purpose! We are not equivalent to a clothes hanger or mannequin nor can we be used, manipulated or coaxed into believing that we have to fit a certain "standard" or "mold" of beauty, or that our beauty or worth is connected in any way to our outer appearance. The painted pictures in the media of how women are suppose to be now days is so sad to me. What happened to beauty of the mind and of the heart? The kind of beauty you can feel, not see.

I am grateful for everything that makes me unique and different. I love my curly hair! At CFC we had a body image challenge day and I remember I was given the challenge to wear a short sleeve shirt and to do my hair curly (scary I know! but it was difficult for me at the time). Now I do my hair curly all the time, I use to always straiten it but now I love how unique it is! I am grateful for everything that makes me, me.

Also I am so grateful my body works properly and that I am healthy, that I can walk, talk, hear, see, smell, touch, taste, that every part of me is working properly. That is something I often taken for granted. There are so many people out there who struggle and suffer because of poor health. How can I complain about the size of my calves or worry about the size of my thighs when without my legs I would be completely dependant on other people to do pretty much everything for me! Wow what an ungrateful thought. I just think this appearance obsessed world has there priorities all mixed up.

I am so grateful for my body and all that it allows me to experience, learn and ENJOY! Even all the bad crappy stuff because without all the bad crappy stuff I wouldn't know all the amazing, serene, wonderful stuff! Our bodies really are a miracle and a masterpiece and I am especially grateful that my body has recovered from ED and all the damage I did to it. Our bodies are amazing! And we might as well LOVE the ones we are given because they are the only ones we get! I love my body because its mine. I am so happy to be at a place where I can trust my body and where I truly am loving it, its an amazing feeling that once upon a time was so foreign to me.
GO RECOVERY!!!

Truth:

D&C 101:37 Therefore, care not for the body neither the life of the body; but care for the soul and for the life of the soul.

Samuel 16:7 ...for the lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance but the lord looketh on the heart.

The Worth of Souls

“I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that he loves each of us insecurities, anxieties, self image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks;...He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other.”

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I found this AWESOME website today http://byuwsr.blogspot.com/ You can also find a link to this site and other awesome sites on the right side of my blog. On this blog they have a 10 day body image challenge that I am going to start tomorrow. Click https://recapturingbeauty.byu.edu/challenge/ to get the calendar if you want to do it with me! There are two calendars on the site, one from 2010 and one from 2011. I am going to do the 2010 one but you can do whichever one you like more. I'm really excited about it and will keep you updated on how it's going for me and hope you will share your thoughts and comment on your experience too :)

Love your whole body



The media breaks us down into body parts- legs, butt, stomach, thighs, the list goes on... all airbrushed and touched up to perfected impossible standards. No wonder 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance! What would happen if instead of passively accepting everything we saw in the media we thought critically about the images that were being shown to us. What if instead of being victim to the insane standards around us we CHOSE to disregard them and love ourselves and our bodies! I challenge you (and me) to think of your body as a whole. No more "I don't like my arms" or "my target area is my thighs" etc. Think of your body as a whole. Don't dissect yourself down into parts. Where did that come from anyway? We are more then the "flab" on our arms, the pooch in our stomach or the "junk in our trunk". You are not just an ornament to look at or a coat hanger to hang clothes on. Demand respect for your body, don't let others treat you like you're below standards of beauty. Most importantly don't treat yourself like that because by doing so, you give others permission to do the same. Your body is not a democracy, you're the only one who gets a vote. So next time you look in the mirror resist the temptation to focus in on your so called weak area and focus on your body as a whole, think about the person you are and instead of disgustingly thinking of some way to "fix" your "target area" recognize something you did awesome today! Then take that time you would spend on "fixing" your "target area" and make a goal to improve your whole self. Change your goal from weight loss to improving your health- including your whole self.

p.s. I saw a lady today wearing a shirt that said "LOVE YOUR BODY" and it made me sooooo happy inside, I want one!

Glamour is one thing, Beauty is another

No wonder our perception of Beauty is so distorted!...

The Images we are seeing in the media ARE NOT REALISTIC!

Glamour is one thing, Beauty is another.

I think we use those words interchangeable, when in fact they are very different.

Glamour is cheap and only skin deep, it says nothing about the person you are, it doesn't warm a heart or brighten someones day, its dull and exhausting, It tells us nothing. It is simply fabric, gunk, and fluff.

Beauty on the other hand, comes from deep inside. It radiates outward, you can feel it. Its the essence of goodness and love. Its being TRUE to yourself. It says I am worth something, and so are you.

Ways to Overcome Negative Body Image:

• Fight Fatism; Work on accepting people of all body sizes and shapes. Don't assume, compare, criticize, or "checkout" others bodies. It may be helpful to make a list of people you admire that do not have "perfect" bodies. Does their appearance affect how you feel about them?
• Accept Genetics; at least 25% to 75% of our bodies are determined by our genes. Striving to fit into a certain size is as unrealistic as someone with a size 9 shoe trying to fit into a size 6. Not gonna happen. There are many aspects of our bodies we can't change, but we can modify our beliefs about our bodies through self-respect and a positive attitude!
• Question messages portrayed in the media; recognize that MANY of the women in the media are suffering from eating disorders (so sad for them!) The diet industry is an 8 billion dollar a year industry. Its a big money maker, which is why they work so hard to get us to believe their lies. Don't believe them.
• Befriend your body; Walk with your head held high with pride and confidence in yourself as a person. Be your body's ally and advocate, not its enemy. Stop harshly judging your body and recognize the biological masterpiece that it is. Women can create life! That is pretty amazing.
• Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams; Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.
• Create a list of the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.
• Don't let your weight or shape keep you from engaging in activities you enjoy
• Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
• Think about all things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.
• Thank your body for all it does for you!
• Find a type of exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. Don't exercise to lose weight or fight your body. Do it to ENJOY your body!
• Keep a list of positive things about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance, read and add to it often.
• Compliment people often on things that have nothing to do with there appearance
• Think, Life is too short to spend your days hating your body
• Be happy with your body NOW!
• Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself
• Eat when you are hungry, rest when you are tired, surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty
• STOP the fat talk! say nice things to yourself instead
• Try going reflection free for a day
• Be more tolerant, "we pride ourselves on tolerance in terms of race and religion. But heaven forbid someone should have a different body weight" we need to stop discriminating- even against ourselves- and start supporting one another.

References and Suggested Readings:
Battling our Bodies; Nicole Hawkins, Ph. D.
Body Wars: Making Peace with Women's Bodies; Margo Maine, Ph. D.
Intuitive Eating: A Recovery Book for the Chronic Dieter; Evelyne Tribole & Elyse Resch
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies, Jane R. Hirschmann